Fashion Bullies Attack -- In Middle School - Wall Street Journal

Fashion Bullies Attack -- In Middle School. Terrific article in the Wall Street Journal.

It's hard to believe that this kind of behavior exists but it absolutely does. Middle School can be such a difficult time for girls and it's getting harder and harder. The internal and external pressures build and there are new pressures all the time. Fashion is fast becoming one of the real toughies.

When working with teen and tween clients and their parents we work on one of the very necessary life skills that a girl has to learn at this age which is assertiveness in addition to a sense of self. If a girl has a sense of who she is but isn't able to withstand the pressures of her peers or the media she will quickly lose that sense of selfhood.


The article also mentions the book "The Hundred Dresses" by Eleanor Estes which was written in 1944. I taught that book as part of a reading curriculum to immigrant children in a very urban area. They loved it! I think it's a great book with lots of great life lessons for children of all ages.

Tip To Try:

*If you're going shopping this weekend begin a dialogue with your daughter about fashion and fashion pressures.

*Don't expect too much information. Don't even ask for any just get the lines of communication open on this topic so that somewhere in the near future you can have a real conversation about it. If you jump right in chances are she'll jump right out.

Enjoy the weekend,
RK

Costumes - Borrowing an Identity

Many of you have been asking about costumes for Halloween. What kind? What should I allow? My daughter/son wants __________ but I think it's too inappropriate/grown up/dangerous/bad role model...the list goes on.

For the last year many of you have been working with me on issues regarding the media circus and the "news" that your children are exposed to even when they don't want to be. TV consumption includes "breaking news" about Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton on a regular basis. These people are not lauded for their positive achievements, to put it mildly.

As politics becomes more celebritized the major issues of the day become cause for "celeb"ration and it's hard to know what to believe or why people are promoting the causes they do. (To those of you who asked about my opinions on Al Gore and the Nobel prize let's leave it at this....)

Tips for Being Proactive About Role Models:

Halloween can be a great time to get a discussion going about heroes.
*What is a hero?
*What makes a person heroic?
*What's the difference between a real hero and someone who just plays one on tv?
*Why is that celebrity getting attention for negative behaviors?
*Whose actions should we pay attention to in the news?

Make a chart with your child listing positive and negative traits.
*Ask questions like why?
*Who has this trait?
*Why is it an important one to have?
*How do you think it can be helpful or hurtful in your life?

Keep a scrapbook (electronic or clippings) of heroes and heroic behavior. Keep it for your own reference and to use as examples with your child when a topic or situation arises.


I was lucky enough to speak with Bryan Brown at Junior Scholastic about the topic. He wrote a terrific article with some of my thoughts on the topic -"Hero or celebrity: don't confuse the glitter of stardom with real heroism" which you can find here - http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Hero+or+celebrity:+don't+confuse+the+glitter+of+stardom+with+real...-a0159390400

Enjoy your weekend!