Happy Thanksgiving! Or that's what it's supposed to be. The holidays have lots of good points and moments but the reality is that the holidays can be very tough. Lots of togetherness, lots of old resentments resurfacing, lots of tension simmering leading to new resentments, misunderstandings, hurt feelings....you know what I'm talking about.
One of the issues that comes up with many clients at this time of year is the additional difficulty of celebrating the holidays as a blended family. There are lots of different kinds of blended families but the challenges are similar. How to mesh different families, people, traditions, memories while managing the negative feelings that are particular to this situation?
Whether the family history includes divorce, a single parent becoming a married parent, death, remarriage, living with a new partner, new siblings, step-siblings....the list goes on and as our definition of family is redefined the situations may become more complicated but the goal is the same. Make the holidays and holiday celebrations as pleasant as possible.
There are too many specific situations to go into any of them in depth here but I'll just mention a few major points that I work with all my clients on.
* Try and be aware of your holiday triggers. Are there certain rituals or scenarios that set you off? Think about them and work around them. Avoid them if you can, make alternate arrangements, plan ahead, substitute something else in its stead. In some cases it's not possible so do the best you can to just get through it.
* Be sensitive to what the children involved are going through. They probably can't articulate the way that you can what's upsetting them or causing them discomfort, sadness, frustration or even grief. The holidays might bring up for them memories of someone they're not with, a family situation they wish was different, a new parent or a parent's new partner that they just don't like, in the case of divorce or a death in the family the child may be yearning for the past and resentful of the way things are now, and angry and rebellious at the way things are now.
* If your child is having a very hard time with changed life circumstances and the holiday celebration might be setting them off, sit them down for a talk. Argh you're thinking. I know. No one said it's easy but it is in many cases necessary. If it's next to impossible for you to talk to them about that you can begin the conversation by saying that. Tell them that it's difficult. That it's difficult for everyone. Tell them that this is the way it is now though and for today, this week, this month this is how it's going to be and that everyone needs to do the best they can. Ask them if there's some way you can assist them in getting through the holidays. You can even reminisce about times gone by "I know it's tough and you liked it better when ______" and even "I wish I could change things for you but for now this is our new reality, our new world, our new family _____".
Again, I'm not suggesting it's easy but I am suggesting that dealing with it makes the holidays go a bit easier than not dealing with it.
Good luck! Wishing you and yours everything wonderful,
RK
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Monday, November 19, 2007
Study Links Drop in Test Scores to a Decline in Time Spent Reading - NY Times
They ARE kidding that this is news? Right? A quick reply to the emails and questions I've gotten this morning regarding the article and the studies. I haven't had time to review the studies so I'll only comment on the article with some general thoughts. (For current clients - any specific questions would be best dealt with on an individual basis.)
Ok - here goes. Again. And again and again and again.
Instill in a child a love of reading and they will pick up books and reading material on their own. They won't only pick up the book that everyone's reading because "everyone's reading it".
Instill in a child a love of reading and the ability to be still with a book and you enable them to develop ;
*the ability to entertain and educate themselves
*patience
*the ability to listen to themselves think
*an ability to sustain silent moments
*the ability to focus, to imagine, to picture, to concentrate and to take a leap into a world that has been transported from the page to their imagination
*a love of the written word
*the ability to ask and answer questions themselves
*sometimes the desire to express themselves through writing
*a broader vocabulary
*a curiosity about worlds they haven't explored
....and more and more and more (this was just for starters)
As for tests and test results, teach children to take tests and do well on tests and they'll know how to - take tests and possibly get good scores on them.
That's a quick response. More in the future I'm sure.
Meanwhile, talk to your children (of all ages) about the topics and areas that they're interested in.
*Go to a bookstore, the library or online and let them choose books and magazines on those topics.
*Keep books, magazines, dictionaries, encyclopedias and other reference materials around the house.
*Keep a daily newspaper around the house and discuss the events of the day.
*Encourage your children (of all ages) to read.
*Model reading for them - telling them isn't enough, if they see you reading they are encouraged to read.
Granted, I grew up in an education minded household which I sometimes affectionately refer to as the "learning lab". Both my parents adore reading and read to us, with us and to themselves. We had the school reading programs in our house (Dad was a school administrator before he retired) and our biggest treats were books. I remember my father coming home with a briefcase full of books and we got to choose one or two knowing that there were so many other fun ones left. It was hard to choose but we always knew there was so much more. My mother to this day is one of the most voracious readers I have ever met reading more than a book a week, not to mention magazines and newspapers. They certainly modeled a love of reading and knowledge. It was natural. It wasn't work or homework, it was fun.
I should mention that both my parents are immigrants who speak about 10 languages between the two of them with English being the most recent, so the fact that they were, and continue to be, voracious readers of English is no small feat. I will also say that a love of reading is one of the single greatest gifts they gave us and I am thankful for it every day of my life.
Give your children a love of reading and you give them a gift they'll use every day. I say that as a reader, writer, teacher and person.
Ok - here goes. Again. And again and again and again.
Instill in a child a love of reading and they will pick up books and reading material on their own. They won't only pick up the book that everyone's reading because "everyone's reading it".
Instill in a child a love of reading and the ability to be still with a book and you enable them to develop ;
*the ability to entertain and educate themselves
*patience
*the ability to listen to themselves think
*an ability to sustain silent moments
*the ability to focus, to imagine, to picture, to concentrate and to take a leap into a world that has been transported from the page to their imagination
*a love of the written word
*the ability to ask and answer questions themselves
*sometimes the desire to express themselves through writing
*a broader vocabulary
*a curiosity about worlds they haven't explored
....and more and more and more (this was just for starters)
As for tests and test results, teach children to take tests and do well on tests and they'll know how to - take tests and possibly get good scores on them.
That's a quick response. More in the future I'm sure.
Meanwhile, talk to your children (of all ages) about the topics and areas that they're interested in.
*Go to a bookstore, the library or online and let them choose books and magazines on those topics.
*Keep books, magazines, dictionaries, encyclopedias and other reference materials around the house.
*Keep a daily newspaper around the house and discuss the events of the day.
*Encourage your children (of all ages) to read.
*Model reading for them - telling them isn't enough, if they see you reading they are encouraged to read.
Granted, I grew up in an education minded household which I sometimes affectionately refer to as the "learning lab". Both my parents adore reading and read to us, with us and to themselves. We had the school reading programs in our house (Dad was a school administrator before he retired) and our biggest treats were books. I remember my father coming home with a briefcase full of books and we got to choose one or two knowing that there were so many other fun ones left. It was hard to choose but we always knew there was so much more. My mother to this day is one of the most voracious readers I have ever met reading more than a book a week, not to mention magazines and newspapers. They certainly modeled a love of reading and knowledge. It was natural. It wasn't work or homework, it was fun.
I should mention that both my parents are immigrants who speak about 10 languages between the two of them with English being the most recent, so the fact that they were, and continue to be, voracious readers of English is no small feat. I will also say that a love of reading is one of the single greatest gifts they gave us and I am thankful for it every day of my life.
Give your children a love of reading and you give them a gift they'll use every day. I say that as a reader, writer, teacher and person.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Building a Nation of Polyglots, Starting With the Very Young - NY Times - So Simple Even Adults Can Do It!
I tend not to comment here about many of the education findings that I read about or that many of you ask about since my thoughts are usually in opposition to much of what I read. Because of my training in different areas and being raised and educated to ask and challenge accepted modes of thinking, I do the same with studies, research and all the rest. There are so many holes and so much missing from much of the work that the thought of applying much of it can be downright frightening. Using fMRI scans of children with ADD...without a whole lot of other information that can get into some real Big Brother territory, not to mention jumping to conclusions.
Having said that, I would like to comment on Building a Nation of Polyglots, Starting With the Very Young by describing my experiences as a teacher (and English as a Second Language teacher) for a few years to classes composed wholly of immigrant children. English was spoken in the classroom - by me and only me, at least at the beginning of the year.
Oh, did I happen to mention that they were 5 and 6 and in the first grade?
Did I mention that they were 27 children who spoke about 17 languages?
Did I happen to mention that many of them were brand new immigrants who came in at different times during the year and so the English learning process had to begin with them all over again from where they were?
Did I happen to mention that I single-handedly kept the caffeine industry going? I also learned how to say "good boy", "good girl" and "bathroom" in more languages than I'll ever need. (You should see how well I do when I travel!)
As a speaker of other languages, the child of immigrants, and someone whose first language is not English I was exquisitely attuned to the difficulty and challenges involved. The desire to say the words that just won't come out of your mouth the right way. The frustration of knowing perfectly well what it is that you're thinking but being absolutely incapable of translating it and getting it out. It's the feeling you get when you travel to another country. You know that you know what you're thinking and you know how to say it, you just don't know how to say it to them so they'll understand you.
It was truly one of the most amazing experiences of my career and taught me so much about human nature and the nature of communication. The children were warm and open to helping each other. They were sensitive to each other's needs without having to be told in words. Non-verbal communication was picked up quickly by the children in order to help each other. A look, an expression, a quivering lip, a smile were translated and understood. Latino children spoke some words in Chinese, Chinese children learned a bit of Russian and Russian children picked up some Urdu.
So much of the talk about education and children learning is fancy words and concepts and old theories recycled in new packaging. Having been there and done that I will tell you with complete authority and sureness that it's all about letting children do what comes naturally when it comes to learning. Let them play, interact, become curious, ask questions, get the attention they need, develop a sense of their strengths and weaknesses, learn to love learning and the process of learning and also how to interact with others in the best way to facilitate progress.
Children do that in any language that they speak. They are so open to helping each other learn and thrive. It's as they get older and defenses develop and get stronger that it gets harder to give and receive the help.
So yes, it was an interesting article and I was pleased that the issue is getting attention but let's step back a moment and get all the way back to the basics. The ABCs, as it were.
It's all there.
It's all been there all the time -
and it's so simple -
EVEN ADULTS CAN DO IT.
Having said that, I would like to comment on Building a Nation of Polyglots, Starting With the Very Young by describing my experiences as a teacher (and English as a Second Language teacher) for a few years to classes composed wholly of immigrant children. English was spoken in the classroom - by me and only me, at least at the beginning of the year.
Oh, did I happen to mention that they were 5 and 6 and in the first grade?
Did I mention that they were 27 children who spoke about 17 languages?
Did I happen to mention that many of them were brand new immigrants who came in at different times during the year and so the English learning process had to begin with them all over again from where they were?
Did I happen to mention that I single-handedly kept the caffeine industry going? I also learned how to say "good boy", "good girl" and "bathroom" in more languages than I'll ever need. (You should see how well I do when I travel!)
As a speaker of other languages, the child of immigrants, and someone whose first language is not English I was exquisitely attuned to the difficulty and challenges involved. The desire to say the words that just won't come out of your mouth the right way. The frustration of knowing perfectly well what it is that you're thinking but being absolutely incapable of translating it and getting it out. It's the feeling you get when you travel to another country. You know that you know what you're thinking and you know how to say it, you just don't know how to say it to them so they'll understand you.
It was truly one of the most amazing experiences of my career and taught me so much about human nature and the nature of communication. The children were warm and open to helping each other. They were sensitive to each other's needs without having to be told in words. Non-verbal communication was picked up quickly by the children in order to help each other. A look, an expression, a quivering lip, a smile were translated and understood. Latino children spoke some words in Chinese, Chinese children learned a bit of Russian and Russian children picked up some Urdu.
So much of the talk about education and children learning is fancy words and concepts and old theories recycled in new packaging. Having been there and done that I will tell you with complete authority and sureness that it's all about letting children do what comes naturally when it comes to learning. Let them play, interact, become curious, ask questions, get the attention they need, develop a sense of their strengths and weaknesses, learn to love learning and the process of learning and also how to interact with others in the best way to facilitate progress.
Children do that in any language that they speak. They are so open to helping each other learn and thrive. It's as they get older and defenses develop and get stronger that it gets harder to give and receive the help.
So yes, it was an interesting article and I was pleased that the issue is getting attention but let's step back a moment and get all the way back to the basics. The ABCs, as it were.
It's all there.
It's all been there all the time -
and it's so simple -
EVEN ADULTS CAN DO IT.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Count Your Blessings...Before You Ask For New Ones - Veteran's Day and Thanksgiving
Aren't those just the greatest lyrics? I don't know who wrote or sings them but I heard the song in the movie "The Wendell Baker Story" which is a great movie for thinking about counting your blessings (among other things and a couple of great lines, laughs and poignant moments.)
Veteran's Day is a really great day to teach children about sacrifice, country, democracy and being involved in something larger than yourself. It's a chance to open their eyes to the fact that our country is a free and democratic nation because people defend her right to be.
Veteran's Day Discussion Starter Tips:
* What is Veteran's Day?
* Why do we celebrate Veteran's Day?
* How would the USA be different if our brave soldiers hadn't fought for her?
* Which was the first war that was fought for the USA?
* What war is the USA fighting in now? Where are our soldiers stationed?
* Do you know any soldiers or veterans?
* Is anyone in our family from a foreign country? How did they get here?
* What is great and good about a free country? Voting? Freedom of Speech?
* What do Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness mean?
* What makes you happy? Why?
* How can we give thanks to our veterans?
Depending on the age of your children you can go into the concepts on a surface or a deeper level.
For older teens and young adults it's a good time to talk about the long-term effects of combat and combat wounds both physical and psychological. Are there any veterans portrayed in any of the media they consume? Talk about the countries that don't enjoy the freedoms that we do.
Without our veterans we wouldn't be here today. Let's celebrate them.
Veteran's Day is a really great day to teach children about sacrifice, country, democracy and being involved in something larger than yourself. It's a chance to open their eyes to the fact that our country is a free and democratic nation because people defend her right to be.
Veteran's Day Discussion Starter Tips:
* What is Veteran's Day?
* Why do we celebrate Veteran's Day?
* How would the USA be different if our brave soldiers hadn't fought for her?
* Which was the first war that was fought for the USA?
* What war is the USA fighting in now? Where are our soldiers stationed?
* Do you know any soldiers or veterans?
* Is anyone in our family from a foreign country? How did they get here?
* What is great and good about a free country? Voting? Freedom of Speech?
* What do Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness mean?
* What makes you happy? Why?
* How can we give thanks to our veterans?
Depending on the age of your children you can go into the concepts on a surface or a deeper level.
For older teens and young adults it's a good time to talk about the long-term effects of combat and combat wounds both physical and psychological. Are there any veterans portrayed in any of the media they consume? Talk about the countries that don't enjoy the freedoms that we do.
Without our veterans we wouldn't be here today. Let's celebrate them.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Thanksgiving - Giving Thanks
Amy G. sent me an email asking how she can possibly begin to teach her 15 year old daughter gratitude "when she hates me, everything about me, everything about my life and what I stand for, do, wear, eat....if we weren't having Thanksgiving at our house this year I don't even know if she'd show up".
Amy G. you have got your work cut out for you but don't fear and don't despair, you are not alone. I work with many parents who are going through the same kinds of things and the holidays are especially difficult.
First of all. Remember this. I'm going to sound tough as nails now but so be it. You are her mother. She is living under your roof. You are supporting her. She might "hate" everything about you (whatever - being 15 isn't easy either) but there is a certain modicum of respect with which she needs to treat you.
Having said that. Let's empathize for one second with a 15 year old girl in today's world. I'm glad it's not me. The societal and social pressures are horrendous in addition to all that hormonal activity going on and the need to differentiate and individuate - in other words the need to become her own person.
How's this for a novel approach? Next time she tells you that she hates something you're doing, ask her why? What is it about it that she finds so horrible? If it's clothing, ask her suggestion as to what she thinks you might be doing differently. If it doesn't work for you explain why, and who knows - it just might work for you.
As for the developing appreciation - this time of year is actually a good time to sneak it in with all the holiday preparation and gift shopping.
Developing appreciation tip:
* Start making a holiday shopping list with her.
- Who is on her list?
- Why are they on the list, what is their relationship to her?
- What have they done for/with her this year that she believes warrants a gift or token of appreciation?
- Research teen-focused charities on the internet. Which does she think do worthwhile work? How? How is she lucky not to be in that situation?
Amy, that's only the first few steps. It takes a lot of work and she will probably begin by figuratively (or literally) kicking and screaming. Remember, she's going through her own stuff - you're actually a safe haven for letting out some of her frustration and confusion. It's not easy to be that person and there is behavior that you don't have to accept. Remember that too.
Start with this and keep me posted. And - do nice things for yourself. Write yourself a list of the things that you deserve acknowledgement and thanks for and do something nice for yourself!
Amy G. you have got your work cut out for you but don't fear and don't despair, you are not alone. I work with many parents who are going through the same kinds of things and the holidays are especially difficult.
First of all. Remember this. I'm going to sound tough as nails now but so be it. You are her mother. She is living under your roof. You are supporting her. She might "hate" everything about you (whatever - being 15 isn't easy either) but there is a certain modicum of respect with which she needs to treat you.
Having said that. Let's empathize for one second with a 15 year old girl in today's world. I'm glad it's not me. The societal and social pressures are horrendous in addition to all that hormonal activity going on and the need to differentiate and individuate - in other words the need to become her own person.
How's this for a novel approach? Next time she tells you that she hates something you're doing, ask her why? What is it about it that she finds so horrible? If it's clothing, ask her suggestion as to what she thinks you might be doing differently. If it doesn't work for you explain why, and who knows - it just might work for you.
As for the developing appreciation - this time of year is actually a good time to sneak it in with all the holiday preparation and gift shopping.
Developing appreciation tip:
* Start making a holiday shopping list with her.
- Who is on her list?
- Why are they on the list, what is their relationship to her?
- What have they done for/with her this year that she believes warrants a gift or token of appreciation?
- Research teen-focused charities on the internet. Which does she think do worthwhile work? How? How is she lucky not to be in that situation?
Amy, that's only the first few steps. It takes a lot of work and she will probably begin by figuratively (or literally) kicking and screaming. Remember, she's going through her own stuff - you're actually a safe haven for letting out some of her frustration and confusion. It's not easy to be that person and there is behavior that you don't have to accept. Remember that too.
Start with this and keep me posted. And - do nice things for yourself. Write yourself a list of the things that you deserve acknowledgement and thanks for and do something nice for yourself!
Ok - Not Ok. Part 1
I don't usually snark here or talk about highly charged political or social issues. Today, however, I feel I must share a story that might feel like any or all of the above. I do it in the interest of illustrating some areas that I believe have gotten way out of control as far as people behaving badly.
I work with a terrific couple from Park Slope who are working like crazy to raise their three children well. The don't "parent", they are parents.
Tommy and Serena (not their real names)work with me to help streamline routines, to consolidate and implement goals and techniques for attaining them, on education issues, on life skills issues and all around on how to be a working family unit as well as a couple (with children). Tommy works in finance and works all kinds of hours in a very high-pressure position, Serena is a freelance graphic artist, the children are 6 and a set of 4 year old twins. A lot going on. Lots to manage. Lots to organize. Lots to deal with.
Last week the 6 year old was invited to a birthday party that was supposed to begin at 7:30 pm and Serena and Tommy decided that it was too late. It would mean that he wouldn't be home at least until 9-9:30 and wouldn't get to sleep (if they were lucky) until 10:00 (forget about the sugar rush and the overstimulated angle). They thanked their friend for the invitation but explained why their son wouldn't be able to attend. Sounds simple, right? Well, let the backlash begin!
It seems that one of her close friends called her and told her that she's "too strict" and warned her that she's going to make her children nerds. At the playground that afternoon two other mothers told her the same thing in different words. It seems that they have worked out late-night arrangements for their pre-schoolers and didn't understand why Serena and Tommy weren't doing the same.
"What about when Tommy works late? You mean he doesn't see the children? We let our children (pre-schoolers) stay up until 10:00 so that we can all eat dinner as a family."
Serena wasn't sure what to do but felt that she'd made the right decision about the party considering the late hour. I totally agreed with her and felt that she'd done the right thing. Her issue now was how to deal with the increased pressure by the other parents.
I've worked with parents who tell me that they don't want to feel that their social options are limited because they have become parents. I worked for a short while with woman who was incensed that the local bar wouldn't allow her in with her baby, she thought I was "too strict" and that her children will become nerds if she wasn't free and easy and went with the flow. We mutually decided that we weren't the best fit to work together.
I'll talk more tomorrow about the work that Serena, Tommy and I are doing about this and other related issues, the pressure when you want to do the right thing for your children and people around you aren't. It seems that peer pressure doesn't end after college. There's no time like the present to assert who you are.
Has this happened to any of you? Post or email me at kiki at dailylifeconsulting dot com
Enjoy the day (and stand your ground!)
I work with a terrific couple from Park Slope who are working like crazy to raise their three children well. The don't "parent", they are parents.
Tommy and Serena (not their real names)work with me to help streamline routines, to consolidate and implement goals and techniques for attaining them, on education issues, on life skills issues and all around on how to be a working family unit as well as a couple (with children). Tommy works in finance and works all kinds of hours in a very high-pressure position, Serena is a freelance graphic artist, the children are 6 and a set of 4 year old twins. A lot going on. Lots to manage. Lots to organize. Lots to deal with.
Last week the 6 year old was invited to a birthday party that was supposed to begin at 7:30 pm and Serena and Tommy decided that it was too late. It would mean that he wouldn't be home at least until 9-9:30 and wouldn't get to sleep (if they were lucky) until 10:00 (forget about the sugar rush and the overstimulated angle). They thanked their friend for the invitation but explained why their son wouldn't be able to attend. Sounds simple, right? Well, let the backlash begin!
It seems that one of her close friends called her and told her that she's "too strict" and warned her that she's going to make her children nerds. At the playground that afternoon two other mothers told her the same thing in different words. It seems that they have worked out late-night arrangements for their pre-schoolers and didn't understand why Serena and Tommy weren't doing the same.
"What about when Tommy works late? You mean he doesn't see the children? We let our children (pre-schoolers) stay up until 10:00 so that we can all eat dinner as a family."
Serena wasn't sure what to do but felt that she'd made the right decision about the party considering the late hour. I totally agreed with her and felt that she'd done the right thing. Her issue now was how to deal with the increased pressure by the other parents.
I've worked with parents who tell me that they don't want to feel that their social options are limited because they have become parents. I worked for a short while with woman who was incensed that the local bar wouldn't allow her in with her baby, she thought I was "too strict" and that her children will become nerds if she wasn't free and easy and went with the flow. We mutually decided that we weren't the best fit to work together.
I'll talk more tomorrow about the work that Serena, Tommy and I are doing about this and other related issues, the pressure when you want to do the right thing for your children and people around you aren't. It seems that peer pressure doesn't end after college. There's no time like the present to assert who you are.
Has this happened to any of you? Post or email me at kiki at dailylifeconsulting dot com
Enjoy the day (and stand your ground!)
Thursday, November 1, 2007
The First-Grader's First PC from WSJ
Some good information and resources for technology for the early childhood set.
The First-Grader's First PC Simpler, Cheaper Machines Find an Audience With Kids; Filtering Out the 'Crazy Stuff'By CHRISTOPHER LAWTON November 1, 2007; Page D1
The First-Grader's First PC Simpler, Cheaper Machines Find an Audience With Kids; Filtering Out the 'Crazy Stuff'By CHRISTOPHER LAWTON November 1, 2007; Page D1
WSJ article - Some Date: How Homecoming Is Losing Out to Hanging Out
Terrific article by Jeff Zaslow How Homecoming Is Losing Out to Hanging Out. He writes as the concerned and involved father of three teenage girls about issues that teen girls are dealing with in an evolving culture of dating.
When working with teen clients and their parents on different school and social issues dating comes up at some point. Some teens aren't comfortable talking about it right away but inevitably it's a topic that needs to be addressed. Teens are discovering their identities in many areas and dating is one area that needs to be talked about earlier rather than later.
The behavior that a girl accepts and becomes comfortable with early on can effect her dating behavior as she gets older. Assertiveness, self-esteem and respect, self-knowledge, self-worth and a sense of direction all impact her choices.
Most girls and young women have difficulty navigating the dating terrain and when working with adult clients through Daily Life Consulting it is amazing how much of adult behavior clients attribute to dating patterns that were set years, sometimes decades, before.
Life Skills for Teen Girls: Begin from where you are speaking with your daughters about dating and the social scene they're involved with.
Find ways and programs to encourage and develop their assertiveness, self-esteem, self-respect, self-knowledge, self-worth, sense of direction, education goals, career aspirations, family, relationship and cultural goals and desires. Do it now. It's the perfect time to start no matter what's gone before. You can't change the past but you can impact the future.
Good luck and please email me with any thoughts, suggestions, questions or comments at rebecca at dailylifeconsulting dot com
RK
When working with teen clients and their parents on different school and social issues dating comes up at some point. Some teens aren't comfortable talking about it right away but inevitably it's a topic that needs to be addressed. Teens are discovering their identities in many areas and dating is one area that needs to be talked about earlier rather than later.
The behavior that a girl accepts and becomes comfortable with early on can effect her dating behavior as she gets older. Assertiveness, self-esteem and respect, self-knowledge, self-worth and a sense of direction all impact her choices.
Most girls and young women have difficulty navigating the dating terrain and when working with adult clients through Daily Life Consulting it is amazing how much of adult behavior clients attribute to dating patterns that were set years, sometimes decades, before.
Life Skills for Teen Girls: Begin from where you are speaking with your daughters about dating and the social scene they're involved with.
Find ways and programs to encourage and develop their assertiveness, self-esteem, self-respect, self-knowledge, self-worth, sense of direction, education goals, career aspirations, family, relationship and cultural goals and desires. Do it now. It's the perfect time to start no matter what's gone before. You can't change the past but you can impact the future.
Good luck and please email me with any thoughts, suggestions, questions or comments at rebecca at dailylifeconsulting dot com
RK
November!!!!
Ok I have always loved November and I'm still the biggest kid because I get excited about it every year. Being from New England originally I love the fall, the leaves, the crispness everything about it. Being the daughter of immigrants and someone whose immediate and extended family endured terrible experiences while in their countries of origin I love Thanksgiving, Veteran's Day and Election Day. And back in the day when I was in the school system I must admit that I loved all the vacation days we had during November.
This month we'll talk about -
* Election Day and teaching children of all ages the importance and privilege of living in a free country where we can vote and choose our leaders. (No blue or red state talk here...just the facts.)
* Veteran's Day and teaching children of all ages about the sacrifices, heroism, loyalty and dedication that our men and women in uniform have exhibited in the past as well as the present, at great cost to themselves and their families.
* Thanksgiving and teaching children of all ages about giving thanks, feeling thankful and how to show it, being appreciative and thankful for all the things we take for granted and as entitlements.
Enjoy the day, enjoy the month!
This month we'll talk about -
* Election Day and teaching children of all ages the importance and privilege of living in a free country where we can vote and choose our leaders. (No blue or red state talk here...just the facts.)
* Veteran's Day and teaching children of all ages about the sacrifices, heroism, loyalty and dedication that our men and women in uniform have exhibited in the past as well as the present, at great cost to themselves and their families.
* Thanksgiving and teaching children of all ages about giving thanks, feeling thankful and how to show it, being appreciative and thankful for all the things we take for granted and as entitlements.
Enjoy the day, enjoy the month!
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