Transitions - Getting Ready For Summer - What's In A Word?

If you really think about it life is really a series of transitions. From one stage to another, from one day to another, from one season to another. Getting ready, being in the midst of it, getting ready for the next one. For people who are comfortable with change transitions aren't a problem. Then there are the rest of us.

Now imagine you're a child and suddenly someone is telling you that your daily life is about to change or whoops! it changed and no one told you. That's what it can feel like for a child if you haven't prepared them for what is about to come.

I heard a great example of this yesterday. It seems there was a young child who was putting on his winter coat to go to school. The dialogue went something like this

His mother - no, that coat isn't good for today.
Child - Why?
Mother - Because it's summer outside.
Child - What's summer?

And so it goes. Children are so literal. I always loved it because I'm so literal myself that it was a pleasure to deal with them on that level. Words have very little meaning for them because in many cases they don't know what the meanings of the word are.

The word "summer" is meaningless unless the child can attach it to something.
Ditto for words like "vacation", "camp", "road trip" and on and on.

In order to prepare children for an easy and seamless transition I suggest a few easy steps that I coach my clients to use. They overlap but with children (of all ages) repetition is often necessary.

* Define
* Explain
* Plan

Taking into account the specific child's age and knowledge/awareness level -

Define - When you say "summer is coming" define what summer is. The weather changes, it gets warmer, we wear different clothes, there's more daylight, school is closed, camp is open, we're going on a trip.


Explain What will summer mean in your household? Will you be on the same time schedule? Will parents be home during the day? Will they be going to a pool or camp? Will it be sleep-away camp or day camp? Will menus change? Will sleep habits change? Later bedtime? Summer homework? Trips?

Plan Involve children (as much as possible) in planning and arrangements for the summer. Ask their preferences for different activities, foods, clothes etc. This teaches them decision making skills, cause and effect and more.

Activity Tips:
- Make summer charts and plans with the children. For young children have them create a poster or "book" of pictures of things they anticipate, or would like to do, during the summer. Older children can create summer and summer planning journals.

Something To Remember Words are just words to children. They might not have the stores of memories and word connections to make a word or thought something real. Summer is just a word to a child who doesn't remember what it entails. Be patient when you talk to them and make no assumptions that they understand words or concepts.

Enjoy the day your way,
RK
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Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA
Daily Life Consulting

Loooooooooong Weekend Coming Up? 3 Simple Ways to Make it Great!

Hi All and thanks for all the great responses to the 2-Session Turnaround(TM) Coaching. It does feel exciting and empowering to be able to take action and feel some control FAST! If I haven't answered your email personally yet just keep an eye out in your inbox - I'll get to it as soon as I can. In the meantime.....

The last couple of weeks/months many of you have been working on test-taking, summer planning and the usual daily life4kids issues. Certain issues are ongoing during the year and some are situational and seasonal. This weekend, Memorial Day, is the first of many situational, seasonal weekends that will leave you with LOTS of time with your children that you may not be used to having. No need for panic or worry. I'll give you the short version of coaching work I do with parents to prepare. I'll give you the general info and if you have any particular questions just shoot me an email or call and we'll see what we can figure out.

3-Step Plan. That's it. Those three little words that will make it flow.

1. Plan
2. Organize
3. (Be) Flexible
(And one more thing just for you.....see below)

1. Plan for the weekend in advance.
(Ok - no groaning, no saying there's no time....I know all of that.)
Take 1/2 hour. Yes. A whole 1/2 hour. Talk into the recording device on your phone. Send yourself a text. Leave yourself a voicemail. Scribble it on the steam as you get out of the shower if you have to. Believe me if you do it now you save yourself the anxiety, nerve frazzling and all the rest that comes with "What should I do?????? I'm boooooooooooored???" Not to mention the sounds of crashing furniture and china. Or the always favorite sound of fighting in the back yard.

PLAN means planning a couple of different things you might want to do with the kids. A couple of independent activities you might want them to do, or something that you can join forces with another adult on, or other children you might want to join forces with (a trip to the beach or museum).

PLAN more than you think you'll get to do. Better to run out of vacation time then to run out of things to do.

PLAN according to what works for you, your family, your children and your lifestyle.

2. ORGANIZE
(Ok, ok I hear the groans, yelps and heavy sighs. I know you don't have the time. I know you do too much as it is. See my comments re:"Plan" and insert them here.)

ORGANIZE means gathering the materials that you'll need. That could be tickets to whatever, beach clothes, maps to your destinations, food shopping for special baking or cooking activities, art supplies, big garbage bags for y'know....anything and everything, play clothes, phone numbers of the other people involved, emergency numbers, helping hand numbers, videos, games....you get the picture.

Again - I know it sounds like a lot and it feels like a ton of extra work the first time around but it will save you time in the long run and you'll be an old pro by July 4th weekend!

3. (Be) Flexible (Ok - now it's starting to feel like I can hear you all the way here! Flexible???? After all of this? Who's got the energy?)

FLEXIBLE means things do not (always) go according to plan, especially when there are kids (of any age) involved.
If you've planned, you have alternate and extra plans available. Use them.
If you've organized you should have what you need or the contact numbers of people who can help you get them.
Anything else? Go with it. You've got the skills, know-how and ability to do it.

The one more thing? Plan something special for yourself for Tuesday morning. Whether that's a cup of coffee with the paper in the SILENCE, or a run, or anything that makes you feel good. Do it. Plan for it.

You deserve it.

If you have any questions or need some direction call or email at 646.468.0608 or coach at daily life consulting dot com

Enjoy the day your way,
RK
Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA
Daily Life Consulting

2-Session Turnaround(TM) Coaching

Many of you have been asking about our new 2-Session Turnaround(TM) Coaching What is it? How does it work? What's involved? What kinds of issues could I use it for? So here is some general information and if you'd like more details or information please feel free to call at 646.468.0608 or email coach@dailylifeconsulting.com using "2-Session Turnaround" in the subject line.

Question:What is 2-Session Turnaround(TM)Coaching

Answer: 2-Session Turnaround(TM)Coaching is a very short term coaching solution to help you find some answers, direction, strategies and figure out what to do next.

Question: What kinds of issues could I work on in 2-Session Turnaround(TM)Coaching?

Answer: You name it!
School Skills
Learning Skills
Daily Life Skills for Children (of all ages)
Stress Management
Time Management
Behavior Management
Getting Ready for School
Getting Ready for Vacation
Test-Taking Skills and Anxiety
"Small Talk" which is our proprietary program for learning how to communicate with children so they listen, hear and communicate with you as well.
"The World as a Classroom" which is our proprietary program for making daily life experiences educational opportunities. (The supermarket, a trip to the beach, a road trip etc.) Our clients have found these especially helpful and useful when planning for summer and vacation trips and stay-at-home days.
Reading & Writing all year 'round!
Authorship and Authority which is our proprietary program for developing chidren's "voices", writing skills, reading skills and sense of "I" using journal and other forms of writing.

Question: How Does It Work?

Answer: 2-Session Turnaround(TM)Coaching takes place over the course of a month and works like this. It's very simple and straightforward.

*1 Coaching Session to begin the process.
*Follow-Up materials which match the area you're Turning Around.
*Email Communication available during weekday business hours for the two weeks until the next coaching session. These can be for questions, clarifications, yelps, "I did it!", "it worked!" or whatever you wish to communicate.
*2nd Coaching Session.
*More Follow-up Materials and Action Plan.
*Email Communication available during weekday business hours for the two weeks until the next coaching session. These can be for questions, clarifications, yelps, "I did it!", "it worked!" or whatever you wish to communicate..
*15 Minute Coaching follow-up session.

Very simple. 2-Session Turnaround(TM) Coaching gives you a chance to do just that. Find direction, discuss options with an objective, trained coach, discover new strategies and move ahead confidently.

Please feel free to call or email with any questions or comments. (p)646.458.0608 or (e) coach at daily life consulting dot com (2-Session Turnaround(TM) in the subject line).

Enjoy the day your way,
RK
Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA
Daily Life Consulting

Aspiring to Ordinary - Check out a great blog!

The world seems to have speeded up on its' axis lately. I guess that begs the question of how good a job our psychic gravity is doing at keeping us "grounded". I had a terrific conversation this morning with Amanda Morin who shares her thoughts in her blog Aspiring to Ordinary.

What do we do now?

Enjoy the day your way,
RK
Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA
Daily Life Consulting
Call 646.468.0608 for information about our individual or group coaching, workshops and seminars.

Mom's Going on a Business Trip

Work- Home Life issues and the issue of business travel comes up often for mothers (or single dads) during coaching. It's the reality of many people's working lives so the issue becomes how to deal with it and your feelings about it.

Some quick tips:

1. Preparation is key.

1. Think through and plan for every moment of a regular day and provide the necessary back-up for it.

It feels like a lot of work in advance but will alleviate a lot of the stress and worry and "I wonder if they remembered to...."
Leave memos and reminders on paper, via electronic devices, skywriting - whatever works for your family and support system.

2. Have your contingency and emergency plans ready.
Plan for the best but prepare for worst case scenarios as well.

3. Work on your guilt feelings and issues before you go.
Allow yourself a few moments or hours of R&R if you can. Punishing yourself won't make the folks at home any happier in the long run.

4. Take good care of yourself!
Yes, you heard that right! Coddle yourself. Indulge once in a while. A happy parent makes for a happy family.

Enjoy the day your way,
RK
Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA
Daily Life Consulting
For more information about our individual and group coaching call 646.468.0608