Ok - this one is especially for those of you who've been emailing and asking for specifics and a recap of some of what we covered in our last workshop. You know who you are! (What happened to the materials I gave you? Ok - I'll stop with the teacher tone - old habits die hard - and get right to it! But I will make it short and sweet here. If you'd like more personalized ideas call or email or bring it up at your next session or workshop - whew - it's not you really, it's just that for a quiet July it's been kind of nutty and a couple of unexpected projects came up. All good but time-consuming and very thinking-heavy, now why am I writing all this here? I think the heat is getting to me. Now then....where was I? Really, I'm so different in September...as I know you are too - remember - just a little while longer until school starts)
TRIP PLANNER - that's all you need to remember. Here's how it goes.
*Topic - Discuss with the children where you'll be going. In this case that would be the beach.
*Research - Get them to find out as much as they can about the beach. Books, DVDs, magazines, coloring, cutting and pasting. Have them make a collage of different things they might see. Collect books, songs, movies about animals that live in the ocean, on the beach, near the beach, weather patterns that cause changes in and on the ocean, houseboats, sailboats, ships, far-off lands, imaginary ocean communities and cultures and on and on.
*Investigate - Have them investigate one or more topics that are of specific interest to them. Do they love seafood? Do they love boats? Do they love swimming? Do they love dolphins, sharks or hate jellyfish? One topic or more that they look into in further depth.
*Plan What will you and they need to make a day at the beach go smoothly? Involve them in the planning. Set a plan for the day, figure it out on the clock. Have them draw pictures of clocks and the times that everything will take place. For example - (their favorite!) Snack - 11:00 am and they draw a clock with the hands at 11:00)
*Participate as much as you can. You can always put an older child in charge of the younger ones for some of these activities. Don't knock yourself out before the trip to the beach. These are just some guidelines for ways that you might approach it so that they're as involved as possible and proactive about the trip.
*Learn Simple question(s) to ask them. What do you think you'll see or find out that you didn't know before? What do you want to find out more about?
*Action Items Again, a plan for the day. Break it down as much as you can. A little advance work makes the trip go much more smoothly. Figure in travel time, sun time, SPF needed, food time, swim time, boat time, grouchy time, down time and whatever else you might be doing.
*Navigate Chart the actual travel on a map and assign trip landmarks for the children to watch out for. It makes the ride smoother and does wonders to answer the inevitable "are we there yet???????".
*Needs Make a list, check it twice, ok three times, and have the children participate in making it. What will you need before, during and after.
*Educate (Shhhhhh - don't tell them that they'll be learning!) Figure out one or two things that you'd like them to know about the ocean. They can be simple - you can ask older children what they'd like to know about it.
Document it before - on colored paper, poster paper or in a notebook or online journal.
For older children who are able to, they can write their own blog about it, create a simple website where they'll be able to upload pictures and link to other sites of interest.
*Recap Ok - after you've rested from the trip and sometimes while you're recovering you can ask the children to recap in any way that they're able to. For the younger ones this could be a picture, picture book, cutting and pasting, collage etc. For the older ones a journal entry, blog entry, web upload etc. Plan this in advance and let them know they'll be doing this when they get home. It encourages them to pay closer attention before, during and after.
Ok - got to run now but as always,
Enjoy the day your way (and let me know how it goes!),
Rebecca "Kiki"
***********************
Daily Life Consulting
For more information on individual or group coaching, seminars, workshops, program training and development, or programs for your group or organization please call 646.468.0608 or email me at coach at dailylifeconsulting dot com or Eva Harris at eva at shoutoutpr dot com
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
I Forgot How To Read!!!!!!! - Part 2
Yesterday's post generated a lot of ether-chatter "Mommy, Daddy I Forgot How To Read!!!!" Many of you wanted specific tips for how to make reading a part of daily life activities and the supermarket example was mentioned more than most, so I'll give you a couple of quick tips today that you can start with right now.
Quick Start Coaching Tips;
- You'll need.... mostly patience. The rest is kid's stuff. Also remember to modify any of these steps for your child's age, reading and patience level.
Before
1. Save food labels from cans and boxes, or have your child cut out pictures of
foods and food names from magazines.
2. Put the pictures and words in a see through shoe box or file-folder.
3. Prepare your child for a trip to the supermarket.
"We're going food shopping. I need your help organizing and reminding me what
to get." Whatever works for you and your child.
4. Take a piece of construction or white paper and have your child make their own
"shopping list" by pasting the pictures or labels of the foods you'll be
buying on to the sheet of paper.
5. Explain to them what will happen and the help you need. "I need you to help
me find the snacks, vegetables etc."
6. Ask them what they're looking for, what letters are in the words, how they
think they can match them up quickly (look for the first letter, first two
letters etc.)
7. Shop.
8. When you get home ask them to make a "shopping entry" in their journals
if they keep one, or to color a picture of what they did and bought.
Here's what happens;
* They are engaged in the process and not getting as bored and antsy.
* They're focusing on the task at hand and the products you/they need to buy
and not the millions of other yummy, enticing, fun, unnecessary food you
won't be buying that day.
* They're practicing word recognition.
* They're learning planning and organizing skills.
* They're doing an "update" while you unpack the groceries.
* They feel empowered that they are able to assist and do a "job".
Follow-Up
Feel free to reward the child in whatever way you're comfortable with for a job well done.
Ask for input as to how they think it went and if they have any ideas for how to make the process work better.
You'd be amazed at the ideas they can come up with. They see the experience in a simpler, less stressful way and have great ideas from where to park the car, to how to navigate the aisles, to which product to choose to how to arrange the bags in the car.
Have fun and enjoy!
Rebecca (Kiki)
********************
Daily Life Consulting
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For more information on individual or group coaching, seminars, workshops or materials for your group, school or institution please call at 646.468.0608 or email at coach at dailylifeconsulting dot com.
Quick Start Coaching Tips;
- You'll need.... mostly patience. The rest is kid's stuff. Also remember to modify any of these steps for your child's age, reading and patience level.
Before
1. Save food labels from cans and boxes, or have your child cut out pictures of
foods and food names from magazines.
2. Put the pictures and words in a see through shoe box or file-folder.
3. Prepare your child for a trip to the supermarket.
"We're going food shopping. I need your help organizing and reminding me what
to get." Whatever works for you and your child.
4. Take a piece of construction or white paper and have your child make their own
"shopping list" by pasting the pictures or labels of the foods you'll be
buying on to the sheet of paper.
5. Explain to them what will happen and the help you need. "I need you to help
me find the snacks, vegetables etc."
6. Ask them what they're looking for, what letters are in the words, how they
think they can match them up quickly (look for the first letter, first two
letters etc.)
7. Shop.
8. When you get home ask them to make a "shopping entry" in their journals
if they keep one, or to color a picture of what they did and bought.
Here's what happens;
* They are engaged in the process and not getting as bored and antsy.
* They're focusing on the task at hand and the products you/they need to buy
and not the millions of other yummy, enticing, fun, unnecessary food you
won't be buying that day.
* They're practicing word recognition.
* They're learning planning and organizing skills.
* They're doing an "update" while you unpack the groceries.
* They feel empowered that they are able to assist and do a "job".
Follow-Up
Feel free to reward the child in whatever way you're comfortable with for a job well done.
Ask for input as to how they think it went and if they have any ideas for how to make the process work better.
You'd be amazed at the ideas they can come up with. They see the experience in a simpler, less stressful way and have great ideas from where to park the car, to how to navigate the aisles, to which product to choose to how to arrange the bags in the car.
Have fun and enjoy!
Rebecca (Kiki)
********************
Daily Life Consulting
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For more information on individual or group coaching, seminars, workshops or materials for your group, school or institution please call at 646.468.0608 or email at coach at dailylifeconsulting dot com.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Mommy!!! Daddy!!!!! I Forgot How To Read!
Imagine going on vacation and coming home to find that you can't read. You heard right. You're away for a couple of days or weeks and you return to find that the street signs are incomprehensible, the writing on the food packages at the supermarket are incoherent, the covers of your favorit DVDs look like squiggles. Something like this? oeirlk jakfjor ieiflj uyejkdjdlk mnbvcgfhu!
Scary? Frustrating? Annoying? Infuriating? Upsetting? Sounds about right.
The above might sound extreme but that's exactly what it can feel like to young children and beginning readers. I've seen it happen after winter breaks and summer vacations. The children aren't yet comfortable with their reading, they go away and don't do any reading for a while and there you go. Gone with the wind at the beach! Reading skills lost along with the pasty white skin of winter.
Now imagine what it's like to have to learn it all over again. It's hard. It can be boring. It's frustrating. It's "agaaaaaaiiiiiiiinnnnnnn???????? but I just did that last year in school, why do I have to do it agaiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnn?????"
The other negative aspect of this situation is that reading becomes READING. Reading becomes AN ASSIGNMENT. Reading becomes something to PRACTICE,LEARN and (horrors!!!) STUDY, instead of something organic, fun, entertaining, exciting, a doorway to the unknown, an adventure, a journey and all the other fun things that reading can be.
Quick Start Coaching Tips to keep children reading all summer;
* Keep lots of books about topics they love around the house.
* Read to them. It can be for a few minutes a day or as long as you both like.
* Read with them. Model reading at the same time that they are, and let them
"catch" you reading.
* Get them books that relate to their lives or other media that they're consuming.
* Find reading activities online.
* Have them keep a summer journal. Pictures, words, stories, whatever.
* Incorporate reading skills into daily life activities (more details on this
in another post) such as matching food labels at the supermarket, matching names
of thruways/highways/towns on car trips, making shopping lists, clothing lists,
laundry supplies, swimming supplies, barbecue supplies etc. etc.
* Use baking, cooking or art activities as activities. Follow a recipe, gather art
supplies etc.
Any time children are using the written word in some form and can comprehend how they're using it they're practicing reading. Give them the gift of being independent in their pursuit of information, entertainment, new worlds and knowledge. Give them the gift of loving to read.
Enjoy the day your way,
Rebecca (Kiki)
*************************************
Daily Life Consulting
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For more information on individual or group coaching, seminars, workshops or materials for your group, school or institution please call at 646.468.0608 or email at coach at dailylifeconsulting dot com.
Scary? Frustrating? Annoying? Infuriating? Upsetting? Sounds about right.
The above might sound extreme but that's exactly what it can feel like to young children and beginning readers. I've seen it happen after winter breaks and summer vacations. The children aren't yet comfortable with their reading, they go away and don't do any reading for a while and there you go. Gone with the wind at the beach! Reading skills lost along with the pasty white skin of winter.
Now imagine what it's like to have to learn it all over again. It's hard. It can be boring. It's frustrating. It's "agaaaaaaiiiiiiiinnnnnnn???????? but I just did that last year in school, why do I have to do it agaiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnn?????"
The other negative aspect of this situation is that reading becomes READING. Reading becomes AN ASSIGNMENT. Reading becomes something to PRACTICE,LEARN and (horrors!!!) STUDY, instead of something organic, fun, entertaining, exciting, a doorway to the unknown, an adventure, a journey and all the other fun things that reading can be.
Quick Start Coaching Tips to keep children reading all summer;
* Keep lots of books about topics they love around the house.
* Read to them. It can be for a few minutes a day or as long as you both like.
* Read with them. Model reading at the same time that they are, and let them
"catch" you reading.
* Get them books that relate to their lives or other media that they're consuming.
* Find reading activities online.
* Have them keep a summer journal. Pictures, words, stories, whatever.
* Incorporate reading skills into daily life activities (more details on this
in another post) such as matching food labels at the supermarket, matching names
of thruways/highways/towns on car trips, making shopping lists, clothing lists,
laundry supplies, swimming supplies, barbecue supplies etc. etc.
* Use baking, cooking or art activities as activities. Follow a recipe, gather art
supplies etc.
Any time children are using the written word in some form and can comprehend how they're using it they're practicing reading. Give them the gift of being independent in their pursuit of information, entertainment, new worlds and knowledge. Give them the gift of loving to read.
Enjoy the day your way,
Rebecca (Kiki)
*************************************
Daily Life Consulting
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For more information on individual or group coaching, seminars, workshops or materials for your group, school or institution please call at 646.468.0608 or email at coach at dailylifeconsulting dot com.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Helping Children Fail Successfully - Part 3 of a 3-Part Series
In Part 1 and Part 2 of Helping Children Fail Successfully I talked a bit about changing the term "fear of failure" to "fear of learning nothing from failure" and outlined a first step for approaching this attitude change. Asking yourselves questions about your thoughts and reactions to failure. I was amazed at the email and session comments and questions. Hmmmm, can you imagine? Just about every single email mentioned a failure that hit you very hard. Of course they did. You wanted something, you worked toward getting it, you imagined your life after it and it didn't happen.
I loved hearing about how you reacted and why. The ways in which it moved you forward or sometimes kept you stuck. But enough about you for right now. Let's talk about you and how your reactions to failure affect how you interact with the children in your lives when it comes to succeeding. Most of you asked for specifics. How-to deal with competition, success and failure.
Quick Start Coaching Tips for changing "fear of failure" to "fear of learning nothing from failure".
1. Begin the dialogue before the event. Discuss the different outcomes as you are working with your child toward the goal. Use the following questions as an outline for the types of conversations you might have.
Note: Use an intro to talking about it that is most comfortable for you. You can use the internet to surf ways to practice or get information on the topic together, the drive to and from practice, the dinner table, going out to a movie,lunch or shopping together for some special-together-time. Whatever works for you.
* Would you like to win/get _____?
* Why do you want to win/get _____?
* What might happen as a result of winning/achieving?
* Do you know anyone who has ever won/finished/gotten ______________?
* Do you know anyone who wanted to ____________ but didn't?
* How can you prepare to achieve it?
2. Identify role models (yourself included!)
* Choose role models that mirror the activity or goal involved. Actors if it's a role in the school play, athletes if it's a sport, musicians if it's music, astronauts if it's space-travel related, scientists etc.
* Discuss their achievements and what makes them positive role models.
* Ask the tough questions - do you think they reached every goal they set out to?
How do you think they prepare? What happens when they lose/don't achieve?
Note: Try and get some information for yourself so that you can mention it in the conversation. There's tons of biographical information available online. You might also include experiences from your own life to include.
3. After the fall..... Ok. The worst happened. Disappointment, dejection, sadness...name the bad feeling that's washing over your child and give her/him a chance to feel them. THEN - dig in and figure out;
* What happened?
* What do you think might have contributed?
* Note all the circumstances within and OUT OF the child's control.
4. Change the language of the event. Move forward. Use these two simple words and three simple words.
* Next time....
* In the future....
What you're doing by using those phrases is moving forward immediately, planning for the future, getting into a "try again" mentality and showing your child that the situation is not a be-all-and-end-all. It's an experience. There will be other experiences if they keep on moving forward and trying again.
Many parents try and shield their children from disappointment, rejection, failure and anything negative but in the long run that's not the best way to assist children in preparing for the future. It can be a tough world out there. We all want things we might not get, or might get them later than we wanted or in a different way than we anticipated. Children need to develop the mentality and the skills to deal with setbacks, disappointments and failure. That's how they can continue onward and upward to eventually succeed.
Look at anyone you know who has accomplished something, or many things. Now, ask them how many times they've failed.
Enjoy the day your way and let me know how it goes!
Rebecca (Kiki)
*******************
Daily Life Consulting
For information on individual coaching, workshops, seminars or classes and materials for your group or institution please call or email at 646.468.0608 or coach at dailylifeconsulting dot com
I loved hearing about how you reacted and why. The ways in which it moved you forward or sometimes kept you stuck. But enough about you for right now. Let's talk about you and how your reactions to failure affect how you interact with the children in your lives when it comes to succeeding. Most of you asked for specifics. How-to deal with competition, success and failure.
Quick Start Coaching Tips for changing "fear of failure" to "fear of learning nothing from failure".
1. Begin the dialogue before the event. Discuss the different outcomes as you are working with your child toward the goal. Use the following questions as an outline for the types of conversations you might have.
Note: Use an intro to talking about it that is most comfortable for you. You can use the internet to surf ways to practice or get information on the topic together, the drive to and from practice, the dinner table, going out to a movie,lunch or shopping together for some special-together-time. Whatever works for you.
* Would you like to win/get _____?
* Why do you want to win/get _____?
* What might happen as a result of winning/achieving?
* Do you know anyone who has ever won/finished/gotten ______________?
* Do you know anyone who wanted to ____________ but didn't?
* How can you prepare to achieve it?
2. Identify role models (yourself included!)
* Choose role models that mirror the activity or goal involved. Actors if it's a role in the school play, athletes if it's a sport, musicians if it's music, astronauts if it's space-travel related, scientists etc.
* Discuss their achievements and what makes them positive role models.
* Ask the tough questions - do you think they reached every goal they set out to?
How do you think they prepare? What happens when they lose/don't achieve?
Note: Try and get some information for yourself so that you can mention it in the conversation. There's tons of biographical information available online. You might also include experiences from your own life to include.
3. After the fall..... Ok. The worst happened. Disappointment, dejection, sadness...name the bad feeling that's washing over your child and give her/him a chance to feel them. THEN - dig in and figure out;
* What happened?
* What do you think might have contributed?
* Note all the circumstances within and OUT OF the child's control.
4. Change the language of the event. Move forward. Use these two simple words and three simple words.
* Next time....
* In the future....
What you're doing by using those phrases is moving forward immediately, planning for the future, getting into a "try again" mentality and showing your child that the situation is not a be-all-and-end-all. It's an experience. There will be other experiences if they keep on moving forward and trying again.
Many parents try and shield their children from disappointment, rejection, failure and anything negative but in the long run that's not the best way to assist children in preparing for the future. It can be a tough world out there. We all want things we might not get, or might get them later than we wanted or in a different way than we anticipated. Children need to develop the mentality and the skills to deal with setbacks, disappointments and failure. That's how they can continue onward and upward to eventually succeed.
Look at anyone you know who has accomplished something, or many things. Now, ask them how many times they've failed.
Enjoy the day your way and let me know how it goes!
Rebecca (Kiki)
*******************
Daily Life Consulting
For information on individual coaching, workshops, seminars or classes and materials for your group or institution please call or email at 646.468.0608 or coach at dailylifeconsulting dot com
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Helping Children Fail Successfully - Part 2 of a 3 part series
In Part 1 of Helping Children Fail Successfully I talked a bit about success, failure and how to teach children to fail successfully. I proposed we change the term Fear of Failure to Fear of Learning Nothing From Failure. Today, we'll start on the sometimes tough work of thinking about how one reacts to failure and next week I'll provide some Quick Start Coaching Tips for teaching children to succeed at everything they attempt. How? To succeed in their endeavors, certainly, but also to get something positive from the times they fail. The way I see it it's a win-win, lose-win situation!
Quick Start Coaching Tip: This weekend it's all about you.
Who likes thinking about their failures? Well, it won't be forever (a great lesson to be learned from a failure!) and it's an important step in understanding how your methods of dealing in both positive and negative ways might impact the way you approach it with your children.
1. Can you remember a situation where you really wanted to succeed at something but didn't? (think back to last week or as far back as grade school)
Was it a job? A competition? A marathon? A game? A promotion? A personal goal you set but weren't able to achieve? A part in the school play? A date for prom? A grade you wanted on an exam? A course you wanted to take? That cute guy/girl you were just dying to go out with? The account you wanted to land?(I just came up with about a dozen myself!)
2. Write down the words that come to mind that describe how you felt.
Angry, sad, furious, enraged, depressed, dejected, ashamed, annoyed, blase, hysterical, whichever words work for you.
3. What did you do next?
Did you brood? Did you give up on the whole thing altogether? Did you try and figure out what you might have done differently? Did you blame yourself completely for the failure? Did you ask other people for support? Did you shut yourself away alone until you got over it? Did you abandon all hope for ever achieving the goal? Did you recharge and attempt it again? Did you try to achieve it a different way?
The list of ways one reacts is vast. Everyone has their own way of dealing with failure what we're trying to do here is identify your particular way of reacting so that you can think about how that impacts the way you react to the failure/s of the children in your life.
4. Would you react differently to it today? How?
Experience is a great teacher (I love her but I really wish she was always kind to me instead of teaching me some lessons the hard way!). Time often provides us with a new perspective on an old situation.
5. What did you learn about yourself and what's right for you by going through the situation?
Take a couple of days to think about it. Next week you'll use that personal knowledge to move forward with teaching the children in your life about failing, failing good, and how to learn from their failures and disappointments so that they can move forward successfully. That might sound like a contradiction but it really isn't.
Email me your war stories, tears, upsets and all. I love hearing from you.
To read Part 1 of the series click HERE
Enjoy the day your way,
Rebecca (Kiki)
Daily Life Consulting
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For more information on coaching, groups, workshops, seminars or classes, lectures and materials for your group or organization please call 646.468.0608 or email me at kiki at dailylifeconsulting dot com
Quick Start Coaching Tip: This weekend it's all about you.
Who likes thinking about their failures? Well, it won't be forever (a great lesson to be learned from a failure!) and it's an important step in understanding how your methods of dealing in both positive and negative ways might impact the way you approach it with your children.
1. Can you remember a situation where you really wanted to succeed at something but didn't? (think back to last week or as far back as grade school)
Was it a job? A competition? A marathon? A game? A promotion? A personal goal you set but weren't able to achieve? A part in the school play? A date for prom? A grade you wanted on an exam? A course you wanted to take? That cute guy/girl you were just dying to go out with? The account you wanted to land?(I just came up with about a dozen myself!)
2. Write down the words that come to mind that describe how you felt.
Angry, sad, furious, enraged, depressed, dejected, ashamed, annoyed, blase, hysterical, whichever words work for you.
3. What did you do next?
Did you brood? Did you give up on the whole thing altogether? Did you try and figure out what you might have done differently? Did you blame yourself completely for the failure? Did you ask other people for support? Did you shut yourself away alone until you got over it? Did you abandon all hope for ever achieving the goal? Did you recharge and attempt it again? Did you try to achieve it a different way?
The list of ways one reacts is vast. Everyone has their own way of dealing with failure what we're trying to do here is identify your particular way of reacting so that you can think about how that impacts the way you react to the failure/s of the children in your life.
4. Would you react differently to it today? How?
Experience is a great teacher (I love her but I really wish she was always kind to me instead of teaching me some lessons the hard way!). Time often provides us with a new perspective on an old situation.
5. What did you learn about yourself and what's right for you by going through the situation?
Take a couple of days to think about it. Next week you'll use that personal knowledge to move forward with teaching the children in your life about failing, failing good, and how to learn from their failures and disappointments so that they can move forward successfully. That might sound like a contradiction but it really isn't.
Email me your war stories, tears, upsets and all. I love hearing from you.
To read Part 1 of the series click HERE
Enjoy the day your way,
Rebecca (Kiki)
Daily Life Consulting
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For more information on coaching, groups, workshops, seminars or classes, lectures and materials for your group or organization please call 646.468.0608 or email me at kiki at dailylifeconsulting dot com
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Helping Children Fail Successfully - A 3 Part Series
Fear of failure? Let's change that term to Fear of Learning Nothing From Failure.
No one wins all the time. No one. The greatest athletes mess up, fumble, strike out, fall, choke (fill in the term you use) all the time. It happens. Actors flub lines and get stage fright. Business leaders and owners make wrong decisions with serious consequences. Politicians lose elections. Scientist's experiments don't go the way they thought they would. Writers get writer's block or write something that they hate. Chefs burn the main dish.
The question is what happens after a failure? What do you do next?Did anyone get anywhere without some kind of failure along the way? Not a chance. The people who have achieved the most have also failed.
I've worked with so many children and parents throughout the years and this one area seems to trouble both groups the most. Failing at something. Whether it's not getting the lead, or any part, in the school play, not making the team, failing on a test or not doing well, making a public mistake at the recital, failing emotionally, failing socially, failing interpersonally...the list goes on and on. What to do? Parents are agitated and upset, the children are despondent and often anxious about their parent's reaction to the failure/upset.
The pressure to achieve everything, at all costs, publicly and every single time has been seeping into our collective national personality for a while. It's causing unreasonable expectations for parents and children.
I've decided to spend the next few posts talking about ways in which parents and adults who work with children can manage their expectations for themselves and their children, learn how to accept failure and disappointment in themselves and their children, and learn how to use failure as a positive learning opportunity.
When working with clients to achieve the above an amazing thing happens. They and their children try more new things! The fears are manageable, a failure doesn't become a catastrophic event and can be seen in context. Parents and children learn about managing frustration and disappointment. They also learn about expanding their options, being realistic about abilities and new ways to try achieving the same aims.
In short they learn my clients learn that "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again - oh - and try, try differently - oh - and try, try something new - oh - and try, try to measure yourself against only you".
I look forward to writing more about it - it's a topic I work with people on, lecture and teach but maybe I can learn some new things by approaching it in this new way.
Enjoy the day your way,
Rebecca (Kiki)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For information on coaching, workshops, seminars, classes or materials for your group, school or institution please call 646.468.0608 or email me at rebecca at dailylifeconsulting dot com.
No one wins all the time. No one. The greatest athletes mess up, fumble, strike out, fall, choke (fill in the term you use) all the time. It happens. Actors flub lines and get stage fright. Business leaders and owners make wrong decisions with serious consequences. Politicians lose elections. Scientist's experiments don't go the way they thought they would. Writers get writer's block or write something that they hate. Chefs burn the main dish.
The question is what happens after a failure? What do you do next?Did anyone get anywhere without some kind of failure along the way? Not a chance. The people who have achieved the most have also failed.
I've worked with so many children and parents throughout the years and this one area seems to trouble both groups the most. Failing at something. Whether it's not getting the lead, or any part, in the school play, not making the team, failing on a test or not doing well, making a public mistake at the recital, failing emotionally, failing socially, failing interpersonally...the list goes on and on. What to do? Parents are agitated and upset, the children are despondent and often anxious about their parent's reaction to the failure/upset.
The pressure to achieve everything, at all costs, publicly and every single time has been seeping into our collective national personality for a while. It's causing unreasonable expectations for parents and children.
I've decided to spend the next few posts talking about ways in which parents and adults who work with children can manage their expectations for themselves and their children, learn how to accept failure and disappointment in themselves and their children, and learn how to use failure as a positive learning opportunity.
When working with clients to achieve the above an amazing thing happens. They and their children try more new things! The fears are manageable, a failure doesn't become a catastrophic event and can be seen in context. Parents and children learn about managing frustration and disappointment. They also learn about expanding their options, being realistic about abilities and new ways to try achieving the same aims.
In short they learn my clients learn that "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again - oh - and try, try differently - oh - and try, try something new - oh - and try, try to measure yourself against only you".
I look forward to writing more about it - it's a topic I work with people on, lecture and teach but maybe I can learn some new things by approaching it in this new way.
Enjoy the day your way,
Rebecca (Kiki)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For information on coaching, workshops, seminars, classes or materials for your group, school or institution please call 646.468.0608 or email me at rebecca at dailylifeconsulting dot com.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Summer Fun!
Could it get more hectic? I'm thinking....Yes! Many of you are finding the transition to summer a bit more complicated and time consuming than you thought it would be. We work on these issues as part of our Transition workshops and come up with methods, plans and ways to make it all seem seamless and as painless as possible. It takes some time and direction which is impossible to replicate in a blog post but in answer to emails and questions I'll just give you a quick nudge in the right direction.
Quick Start Steps:
1. Take out your calendars and start filling in the dates.
* How much "free" time will the children have?
* How do you want them to fill it?
2. Plan Activities and Alternates.
* Choose one activity for each block of time
(yes, it's a ton!)and choose 5 or so summer appropriate alternates.
This way you're prepared for changes due to weather, car trouble, colds and all
the other things that come up.
3. Make Arrangements.
*Make arrangements for at least 1-2 weeks in advance so that you have breathin
room.
*Make contingency plans (you're going to need them)
*Create travel and cleanup routines. Make charts, use pictures, whatever works.
4. Gather the troops.
* Prepare your support system of adults.
* Sit down with the children and let them know what you've got in mind for them
and what you're planning.
5. Ask for input.
*From your adult support system and the children. Each group may have good ideas and ways to put it all together that you haven't thought of.
And the MOST IMPORTANT element. Sit down for this one (ok you're sitting but you know what I mean). Ready? Ok. I mean really ready?
6. HAVE FUN!!!
It sounds almost impossible what with planning and doing and arranging and organizing and cleaning up but it is possible. These days will never be here in quite this way again. Enjoy the moments, they add up to lots of beautiful memories.
Enjoy the day your way -
Rebecca (Kiki)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For more information about coaching, workshops, groups, seminars, materials for your classes, groups or organizations please call 646.468.0608 or email coach at daily life consulting.
Quick Start Steps:
1. Take out your calendars and start filling in the dates.
* How much "free" time will the children have?
* How do you want them to fill it?
2. Plan Activities and Alternates.
* Choose one activity for each block of time
(yes, it's a ton!)and choose 5 or so summer appropriate alternates.
This way you're prepared for changes due to weather, car trouble, colds and all
the other things that come up.
3. Make Arrangements.
*Make arrangements for at least 1-2 weeks in advance so that you have breathin
room.
*Make contingency plans (you're going to need them)
*Create travel and cleanup routines. Make charts, use pictures, whatever works.
4. Gather the troops.
* Prepare your support system of adults.
* Sit down with the children and let them know what you've got in mind for them
and what you're planning.
5. Ask for input.
*From your adult support system and the children. Each group may have good ideas and ways to put it all together that you haven't thought of.
And the MOST IMPORTANT element. Sit down for this one (ok you're sitting but you know what I mean). Ready? Ok. I mean really ready?
6. HAVE FUN!!!
It sounds almost impossible what with planning and doing and arranging and organizing and cleaning up but it is possible. These days will never be here in quite this way again. Enjoy the moments, they add up to lots of beautiful memories.
Enjoy the day your way -
Rebecca (Kiki)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For more information about coaching, workshops, groups, seminars, materials for your classes, groups or organizations please call 646.468.0608 or email coach at daily life consulting.
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