Patience Is A Virtue...Practicing what you preach can be tough!

Teaching children to have patience and delay gratification can be tough. It's tough for us as adults and in our go-go-fast-faster-fastest world is getting tougher.

I'm learning that all over again as I deal with my limited mobility for these few weeks. I'm frustrated beyond words that I just can't do the things I normally do.

I've been told that I have an inordinate amount of patience. I don't know if that's as a result of teaching young children at the very beginning of my career or if I was able to do that because I have a lot of patience. I have patience with others to the "nth" power. So why is it so hard to be as patient with myself? What about helping yourself? What about helping your children help themselves?

Life Skills For Children (of all ages)

Feeling: Waiting for things can feel really really hard. You want it and you want it now.
Learning Tool: What to do? Well, for starters acknowledge the uncomfortable feelings. If your child is grouchy because s/he can't have whatever it is that they want acknowledge that the experience of wanting it can feel very frustrating but - hey - sometimes you just can't have what you want right when you want it. The earlier they learn to manage frustration the easier it will be for them later.

Teaching Patience to Young Children: Practice "waiting" for things. Tomorrow when your child asks for something routine (nothing urgent, emotionally loaded or necessary) ask her/him if s/he can wait for a moment or two because you are _______ (busy, engaged, finishing something up, tired etc.) Wait a short moment or two and then give them what they asked for.

Keep repeating this with longer and longer "wait" times. Nothing excessive, you're not trying to create frustration, you're trying to assist them in managing feelings of frustration while waiting.

Be consistent and honest. If you say you're going to give them something, or do something with them, keep your word. If you aren't able to be honest about that too. Again, the earlier they learn that they can't have everything they want, the way they want it, the second they want it, the better it will be for them in school, in relationships, in sports, in extracurricular activities, in life.

Toughie Tip: If your child absolutely can't tolerate the waiting the first few times you try it buy an old-fashioned egg timer and set it with them. Let them move the dial to the minute mark, give them something to do while they listen to the seconds tick off and have them bring the timer to you when it goes off. This gives them a feeling of control over the waiting.

As for you? And me? Well I'm a huge fan of substituting. Now that I can't walk around as much I'm filling that time with other things that I've put off. I'm catching up on a number of projects that require serious planting myself in a chair and doing. I'm finding ways to finish projects in the outdoors regardless. Wireless, pen and paper, cellphones, sunshine and foliage can go a long way in helping to manage the frustration.

And those moments that it just feels like too much? It will pass for you and with your help, for them. It always does, and that's something to look forward to.

Good luck and let me know how it goes!