I work with many parents on the issue of their feelings regarding how their children measure up compared to the "competition" and how that reflects on them. A few thoughts to keep in mind.
In these fiercely competitive times parents are pushing their children more and more and expecting more from the children, and themselves, thenever before. Registering children for the best nursery schools before they're born. French, gymnastics, etiquette - all before they enter school!
No wonder parents are looking over their shoulders at what other parents are doing and how they themselves rate as parents.
No one wants to feel that they're not doing the best they can by their children and since nowadays many parents don't have the extended and multi-generational help and advice that they used to. Grandma and Aunt Tillie aren't around to teach you the
basics and tell you you're doing a great job.
So parents feel they have to look around and get the info "on the street", instead of looking inside and trusting their own intuition and gut instincts.
In addition, the vast amount of parenting information can make parents feel overwhelmed by the parenting choices and insecure of their decisions. Are the
Joneses doing a better job? Is their child smarter?
If a child comes up looking better than "the competition" the parents can pat themselves on the back and the fear and insecurity that they're not
doing a good job subsides - until the next incident!
Take a deep breath and relax. The best help you can provide immediately is to take the pressure off yourself and your children.
Then, take it one step at a time and explore what's important to you and your family. Take it from there. RK
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1 comment:
Thanks for this one. I needed it.
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