Workshops and Seminars

Workshops and Seminars are in full swing but we're constantly adding new groups and specific topic areas.

This May we're introducing "Small Talk", a workshop series designed to help you communicate better with young children.

"The World as A Classroom" and "Summer Fun" which will provide tips, tools and activities for incorporating fun ways of learning into children's daily lives(shhhh, don't say it's learning.

"Getting Ready For the First Day of School" Pre-K, Kindergarten and First Grade and Second/Third Grade groups available.


Ongoing workshops include;
Learning Skills
School Skills
Social Skills
Encouraging and Enhancing Creativity in Children
Reading and Writing are Fun!
Math and Science are Fun!
Etherthink - Technology and your Child

For more information or to arrange for a group or seminar for your group, school or individual coaching please call 646.468.0608.

Enjoy the day,
Rebecca (Kiki)
Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA
Daily Life Consulting

Learning To Write Is Learning To Think

So much emphasis on test scores. So lots of policy and education programs are developed and implemented in order to help children do well/better on their tests.

Excellent - we're educating a generation of test-takers. But what if we ask them questions that aren't in the test style they're used to? What if we ask them to make a leap between un(test)related subjects? What if we want them to be creative or to use new critical thinking skills?

I won't go into my personal opinions about a lot of these issues but will direct you to two articles from the New York Times that address the in different ways. One article titled U.S. Students Achieve Mixed Results on Writing Test reports that "About a third of the nation’s eighth-grade students, and roughly a quarter of its high school seniors, are proficient writers, according to nationwide test results released Thursday."

A third and a quarter are proficient in writing? That doesn't sound like mixed results to me. That sounds like poor results.

Another article In a New Generation of College Students, Many Opt for the Life Examined talks about the fact that many students are studying philosophy. It quotes David E. Schrader, executive director of the American Philosophical Association, a professional organization with 11,000 members, as saying "that in an era in which people change careers frequently, philosophy makes sense. 'It’s a major that helps them become quick learners and gives them strong skills in writing, analysis and critical thinking,'".

I had a terrific teacher in Grad school (for an MFA in writing) Tucker Farley, who changed the way we thought about things. She challenged us to think about old topics in new ways. On the door to her office was a quote that I always have in mind when working with children, parents, students of all ages (and of course with writers) because it has proved to be so true. "Learning To Write Is Learning To Think".

Teach a child to take tests and they'll perform better on standardized tests.
Teach a child to think creatively, to strategize and solve problems and they'll have the tools to help them in every subject and in their lives.

3rd-Graders Aimed to Hurt Teacher - AP

I have no answers to any of the questions I've gotten about the story out of Georgia
"3rd-graders Aimed to Hurt Teacher " about a plot cooked up by a group of 3rd graders to hurt their teacher in retaliation for reprimanding one of them. The plot included duct tape, handcuffs and a knife and materials for covering the windows during the attack and cleaning up afterwards.

I am horrified. I'm upset. I'm bewildered. I'm a lot of things. I have a lot of questions but no answers right now.

The story did remind me though of a wonderful surprise birthday party that one of my second grade classes planned for me. It involved music, a cake, snacks and soda, cards and gifts. I was amazed that the children were able to plan it so well, they got their parents involved for some of the bigger items. Michael G. was the planner and leader and he did a great job. I still smile when I think of it. That's the kind of planning young children should be doing. Planning for parties, playing, thinking about summer vacation or gym or music class.

What's going on? Why the violence in our schools? Why the violence among young children? I recall the studies after 9/11 that suggested that violent acts will rise in number and that the violence will be exhibited by younger and younger children. Is that what we're seeing now? Where is this coming from?

It's time to take a really close look at what's going in our schools (BEYOND test scores) on and a closer look at what every adult can do to help stop the violence.

Health Clubs Look to Kids to Bulk Up Membership - WSJ

Interesting article in today's Wall Street Journal Health Clubs Look to Kids to Bulk Up Membership Programs Lure Children Of Existing Clients As Well as Outsiders.

Work out, keep fit, let your children see that you are. Be active with them and they'll learn by example. If a gym is the best way for you to do that - do it. Whatever works.

Enjoy the day your way,
RK
Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA (APA)
Daily Life Consulting

Bullying - Re:A Boy the Bullies Love to Beat Up, Repeatedly - NY Times

Many of you have sent emails asking for a blog post addressing A Boy the Bullies Love to Beat Up, Repeatedly and the topic of bullying in particular. I've written roughly 4 different drafts for posts and haven't hit "publish post" for any of them. The topic is way too complicated for a short (or even long-ish) blog post.

Quick Coaching Tip:
I will say one thing to parents, educators and others who work and deal with children but might not be in a position to really "do" anything in certain bullying situations besides attempting to stop the bullying going on at the moment. Think teachers in a classroom, parents whose children have other friends visiting, counselors in group settings, museum and tour leaders and others.

It's one small phrase that I learned from a professor years ago (I wish I remembered who it was so I could give them the credit for it.) It will not solve the problem but it can make a big difference in a short-term crisis situation.

The short phrase is "I can't let you _____________________". You can fill in the blank depending on the situation.
"I can't let you do that in my classroom"
"I can't let you hit anyone in here."
"I can't let you call anyone names."
"I can't let you bother someone."
"I can't let you curse in my house."
"I can't let you punch someone else."

Practice saying it using other situations and expressions to fill in the blank.
Say it with authority.
Mean it.
Use an authoritative tone.
Don't whine it or put a question mark at the end of the sentence.
Don't sound hesitant.
Mean it.
Mean it.
Mean it. You can't let them do that. Period.
Practice the "teacher look" that my clients, friends and family always ask me to teach them. (Suffice it to say that on while taking a trip once with my third-grade students I used the look on the bus - the school bus driver who probably had seen it all looked at me and said "MAN! You even scared me with that look!")
Develop your own voice and look. Shouting doesn't do the trick, children learn early on how to tune out shouting.

Again - this is NOT a cure or solution, it's a quick short-term way to diffuse potentially difficult situations for a very short time.

Longer range solutions require different strategies for different situations which are too numerous to post here.

If you have any other questions or concerns that you'd like some information on please feel free to email me at rebecca at dailylifeconsulting dot com

Good Luck!
RK
Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA
Daily Life Consulting

Staying Calm During Test Taking and Decision Making Re: Speed Secrets of a Racing Prodigy WSJ

I meant to put this post up on the Kick-Start Self Coaching blog
and talk more about test-taking here. But somehow I may have had my head in two places at once (NOT A GOOD test-taking skill!) and somehow I put it here.

After you read the post try these tips to help your children improve their level of calm during tests which is a crucial component to being a good test-taker.

Coaching Tip: Use the coaching tip mentioned below with practice tests.
* Buy one of those old fashioned egg timers and keep practicing with your children the art of staying cool under pressure.
* Get them used to answering the (practice) test questions as quickly, carefully and calmly as they can.
* Mention Hamilton to your children - he needs practice and help too even to do one of the coolest and stressful sports.

(Here's the post)

I love speed racing (to watch, not participate in, although it was a childhood wish of mine to be a race car driver...ah yes...while most little girls were wishing for ballerina slippers I was wishing for race car helmets but that's all for another day...) where was I? Oh yes, that's one of the things that drew me to the article in the WSJ "Speed Secrets of a Racing Prodigy" about Lewis Hamilton. The article describes his racing with F1 which is Europe's Nascar but with some grueling differences.

What I found fascinating was the description of Hamilton's special skill and nerves of steel to "pass by braking - waiting longer than the other driver to hit the brake before entering a turn". The article by Darren Everson continues on to describe how he learned this special skill through preparation for it by working with Kerry Spackman, a neuroscientist employed by Hamilton's team. "Dr. Spackman tries to help drivers improve decision-making by getting them to feel a greater sense of calm." Fantastic!!! I'll say that again because the concept works in most areas of life.

"Dr. Spackman tries to help drivers improve decision-making by getting them to feel a greater sense of calm."

That's one of the goals of our coaching and one of the skills I work with clients on.
Hysteria, anxiety, stress levels, internal and interpersonal conflicts all impede our ability to make the best possible decisions at any given time.

Yes, there are people who make decisions best when under pressure but even under those circumstances they need (or have already) developed a way of maintaining internal calm that allows them to make the best decisions.

There are many ways and techniques of developing a greater sense of calmness when making decisions. Different people respond in different ways, but the goal remains the same. To stay as calm as possible in order to make the best decision possible.

Quick Tip: I worked with one client who just froze when he had to make on-the-spot decisions which was a BIG problem since his work involved many on-the-spot decisions which were crucial to his work. We worked together using a number of techniques but the one that he enjoyed the most and that worked for him was the old egg-timer technique.

I used one of those old-fangled egg-timers and set it in minute and then second increments. He was given a "problem" and had to come up with the answer/solution in the alloted time. At first even the simplest problems were impossible since it was the pressure that caused him to freeze. Eventually the time constraint wasn't a problem an he enjoyed beating the clock to come up with more and more complicated solutions.

Whatever works!

Enjoy the day your way,
RK
Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA (APA)
Daily Life Consulting

Why We're Powerless to Resist Grazing On Endless Web Data - Wall Street Journal

Terrific article in the Wall Street Journal by Lee Gomes Why We're Powerless to Resist Grazing On Endless Web Data On Endless Web Data
So - we're hardwired to graze for information? And HOW much information are children exposed to nowadays? Oh, that's right - an enormous, overwhelming amount.

One of the challenges we work with parent and educators on is how to assist children in regulating the amount of information they expose themselves to and how they integrate it into their minds, psyches, behaviors and world views. It's not easy for parents assisting their children in managing technology and a world that they had no experience with as children. Brave New World as it were.

Coaching Tips:
Don't be afraid to set limits for your child's technology consumption.
Sit down with your children and get input as to how they think this can be done. (They'll tell you it can't. It can.)
Discuss how you intend to set the limits.
Be clear about the limits.
Be clear about the consequences to not adhering to the limits.
Follow through.

You're doing the children a favor. Imagine if they could stay up as late as they say they wanted to? Eat as much as they say they want to? Run around as much as they say they want to? Yeah - I think you've got the picture.

Not having all that tech time leaves room for lots of other things for them to explore and get used to. It encourages development of different skills and ways to keep themselves occupied.

Good luck!
RK

Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA (APA)
Daily Life Consulting