Good Morning and we've made it to another weekend. Great news for some, and then there are parents of school-age children who have so much going on during the weekend that they heave a sigh of relief when school starts on Monday. (You know who you are!).
I remember the happy smiles and the all the warmth and love that came my way during my teaching years. Sure, the parents were happy that I loved their children and was a good teacher (if I do say so myself, and apparently I am) but more than that - they were so darn happy that school was starting. Forget Mondays - after holidays and summer vacation...boy did I feel the love. The sun didn't shine as warm as the smiles of the parents dropping their children off at school after a week or more of vacation.
Having said that....This post is in response to the emails and questions I've gotten regarding the post below (learning from the Giants) and others where I've given suggestions for different activities or ways of communicating.
In short -
These are suggestions. It's not a script to follow word for word. The questions are a way to possibly get the conversation/s going. One or more to try something in a way you haven't tried it before.
Don't try them all at once and don't think you have to. It's an outline, a cheat sheet for thinking about interacting in a new way.
Not everything will work with every child. You know that even among siblings children can be so different from one another. Think about all the people you know, would every way of interacting with one, work with all of them?
You know yourself and your child best. When working with parents, many wish I could (and ask for) the definitive way of being the best parent they can and assisting their children in growing into and becoming successful adults emotionally, intellectually, spiritually and every other way.
Now for THE SECRET to achieving that.....(drum roll).....(another drum roll)...
There is no secret. No ONE WAY. There is the way that works for you, your children, your family, your life vision, lifestyle and the society that you choose to live in.
Your job is to do the best job you can with the tools and circumstances you're given and the hand you've been dealt. That means working within the parameters of your temperament, your children's temperaments, the value system you live by and would like to instill in them.
So this weekend, while you're running around if you're feeling harried and tired and sometimes cranky stop for a minute (ok a second - who has a whole minute?) and congratulate yourself on trying to do the best you can.
Enjoy the day your way,
RK
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3 comments:
oh this is a good point- You know that even among siblings children can be so different from one another- I sometimes feel like I'm trying to cram a square into a round slot by having one size fits all rules for all of my kids. Here's a question though, how do I explain to them that there are different rules for each of them?
Meg
Hi Meg,
Your question is a great one and the answer would be a bit more complicated than one or two sentences here would allow but - here is one quick suggestion.
Start by pointing out the positive differences. So, if one excels at a sport, game, art point that out. If one is going to a party, sports activity or game, movie, trip that the others aren't going to point that out at the time.
Point out the good things that are different. Then when it's time to point out how they have different rules - amidst the complaints or whining or protestations - you can point out the previous differences "remember when you ____?"
When moods are calm sit down with them together or one at a time and point it out again.
You can also try doing different special things with each one - "special time" as it were so that the differences are there but not necessarily negative. They just are.
Hope this helps - let me know how it goes!
RK
Happy Valentine's Day - I love you!!!
My children love you! Thanks for everything and this post made me feel even better even though you've said it to me over and over again. I get it and I'm getting it and it's really helping our family.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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