New Year's Resolutions You (and your children) Can Keep - Easy As ABC

Hi - I get requests every January to repost this article I wrote about keeping New Year's Resolutions. Here it is! Enjoy!

New Year's Resolutions - Easy as ABC

New Year's Resolutions. They seem so easy to decide on and so difficult to carry out and achieve. Can they be as easy as ABC? Or 123? I think they can. Having begun my career teaching ABCs and 123s I know that the most effective way to learn something new is often the simplest way. With that in mind I created a system for my clients to help them set and achieve New Year's Resolutions that's as easy as - ABC and 123. I call it the 5Ws.

Think back to when you were learning how to read and add for the first time. You take for granted now the ease with which you read and comprehend but back then? Every new letter was difficult if not complicated. New sounds made by new vowels got the whole thing mixed up in your head. Oy. Or would that be oi? And what's all this about a 1 and a 5 being 15, isn't it 6?

Life seems to get more complicated as we get older and wiser. Once you get used to doing things a certain way it can feel unbearable to change. Making the changes in the simplest way possible is often the best ways to shift, change and move forward.

How about going back to the basics, and the strategies that worked when you were learning the basics? Step by step. Patience. Persistence. Pride in a job well done. Retracing your steps to find out what went wrong when you slip up. Breaking down complicated jobs into easy manageable tasks. Doing your homework. Rehearsing for the performance and often taking one step backward for every two steps forward.

The 5W System - As easy as ABC and 1,2,3

Supplies:
Journal supplies - a notebook and pen/pencil or computer.
New Year's Resolutions supplies - Your wishes, goals, hopes and dreams.
Strategy supplies - Your strengths and limitations.

As you answer the 5W questions below, jot them down in a journal you’ll be starting especially for this. Keeping a journal can often help in answering the 5Ws and helping you keep your resolutions.

The journal will give you a starting point aside from January 1st to refer to. A week or a month from now you can see how much progress you've made and decide if you’re happy with your progress, or lack thereof. You can continue from there. You can modify your tactics and start differently. Or you can start again using different techniques that fit your lifestyle better.

The 5Ws? Simple. Who, What, Where, When and Why.

* Who are you today and who would you like to be a year from now?
* Why do you want to make the change? Emphasis on YOU*.
* What changes in behavior and shifts in attitude will you need in order to make the changes and achieve your goal?
* Where can you get support to help you make the change? People, books, websites, journals etc.
* When is the best time of day/week/year for you to make the change? To evaluate the change? To take action toward achieving the change?


*A couple of tips to help you answer the “Why” for YOU.

OK, you've decided you want to make a change. Think about the change you've decided you want to make. You. Yes. Not anyone else who wants a change from you. You. OK. Are we there yet? One more minute. Think about it. It's OK - you can say, "I want to _______". If you need to whisper it that's OK, I can listen very carefully. If you need to write it down and burn it before anyone sees it, that's also OK. If you want to send yourself an email describing it, try that. Whatever works.

Now that you've decided what it is that you'd like to do/be/achieve, what mountain you'd like to climb, what number you'd like to see on the scale or in your bank account, which salutation you'd like to see before or after your name, what new places you'd like to explore or books you'd like to read....there's another step to take before we start planning the How.
Why do you want _________________________?

Find a place and time where you can sit quietly and think and have a real conversation with yourself or with your coach. Explore the reasons. Sure there are the first few surface/off the cuff that come to mind easily. Dig deeper. Keep asking yourself why until you've gotten to the real reason you want to achieve "whatever".

If we were working together I'd keep asking you why, why, why until we got to the real results you were after. So? What's the real reason? What do you really hope will be the result of your resolution?

Once you've figured out the "Why" it's easier to schedule and sort out the rest. You'll know the end result you're trying to achieve. By answering the Who, What, Where and When you'll be able to schedule the small tasks needed to make the change into your schedule.

Why? Why not? Why shouldn't you have the best year you've ever had before? Can you think of one good reason? I didn't think so. So go for it! Out with the old and in with the new.

Happy New Year!
Kiki
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http://www.dlcecc.com
http://twitter.com/coachkiki
Short Term Coaching
Long Term Solutions

Halloween Safety

Hi All,

Be safe. Be careful. Take all precautions. Set Limits. Enforce Rules. Have a contact plan. Have contact times.

Most importantly.

Have fun!

Enjoy the weekend,
Kiki
*******************
Daily Life Consulting

Keeping Anxiety Levels Down

Hi All,

It's been quite a while since I've posted here. Thanks for the emails asking (and sometimes badgering - it's ok you know I love ya) for a quick-kik-fix. We've been swamped doing new workshops and seminars dealing with the impact of the economy on children and families as well as our regular client, workshop, training and seminar schedule.

One issue keeps coming up over and over with most of you can be summed up in an email request from a new client "Mollie".

"....my biggest problem right now is dealing with my own anxiety, supporting my husband emotionally while he looks for a new job without letting on that I'm freaking out, and not losing it with the kids or letting them think that the sky has fallen..."

Ok - now this issue isn't one that we can solve in one email or post. Mollie and I have been working together to

* manage her anxiety levels
* find ways to take a "time-out" when she's feeling overwhelmed
* find ways to have some private time with a support network where she can talk about her issues and ways to deal with them.
* learn ways to communicate what's going on to her children in a way that they'll understand and still feel safe and comfortable.

Lots of work to do. But it needs to be done if you want to come out of all of it successfully and intact.

Good luck - take some time out for yourselves, take care of yourselves physically as well since stress can have physical impacts as well.

Wish I had the time to write more and in more detail right now but it's impossible today.

Please keep emailing. If you're new to the blog and Daily Life Consulting and want more information please call 646.458.0608 or email coach at dailylifeconsulting dot com

Enjoy the day - the best way you can,
Kiki
*****************
Daily Life Consulting
646.468.0608

Fall News + Save Lori's House http://www.savelorishouse.com

Hi All,

How tired is everyone? (Yeah - me too!) September is always very hectic and here at Daily Life Consulting it's been quite busy.

* Workshops, groups and seminars are moving right along. If you'd like to set one up for your mothers/fathers/parents group please email coach at dailylifeconsulting dot com or call us at 646.468.0608.

* Coaching Phone Calls We're really glad that this new tool has proven helpful to many of you as an added resource. For more info - or to set one up please email or call. They're a great quick-pick-me-up/ack! I need a bit of help NOW!

* Thanks A & N for sending the links to the back-to-school articles in Parents and Parenting magazines and the NY Daily News. The articles are helpful and interesting and I was happy to be able to add my thoughts and ideas.

The New Mom at School by Terri Cetina in Parenting Magazine

Calming Back To School Jitters - You and Your Child's by Rosemary Black in the New York Daily News

PLEASE CHECK OUT Save Lori's House and pitch in any way that you can. Lori is a journalist and 44 year old single mother who was stricken with ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease), she's paralyzed from the neck down and needs our help to save her house! Thousands of people from all over the country and overseas have pitched in already. Singer Ben Lee has lent his song "We're All In This Together" and his support to this worthy cause. See if there's anything you can do to help. Visit Save Lori's House and join in.

Enjoy the day your way,
RK
Rebecca "Kiki"
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Rebecca "Kiki" Weingarten M.Sc.Ed,MFA
Daily Life Consulting

Getting Ready For School - Yay!Eek! Argh..Sigh

It's only days away. You can almost count it on the fingers of both hands. As a teacher, these were always the most gut-wrenching of days. Where has the summer gone? More. More. More. I know many of my students felt the same way. But then on that first day of school I'd see the love and adoration of the parents of my students..."WE MISSED YOU!!!!!!" Of course they did. I know it was true love and adoration but it was also - "glory be (insert your own expression)- school has started."

Ok. Lovefest and trip down memory lane over. I've been working with many of you over the summer and especially the last couple of weeks to make the coming school year the best one ever for your children. Maximizing their potential, enabling them to become lifelong learners, learning study skills, social skills and learning how to embrace challenges, triumphs and also to deal with the inevitable disapointments.

Quick Coaching Tip for the next week:
The best way to get ready for school is to begin to get children into a routine.
* Start getting them up at the same time each morning.
* Keep a calendar in the main traffic area of the house with a schedule for the week. It makes it easier to keep to a schedule when school starts.
* Involve your children in the process of getting ready for school. What are they most looking forward to? What are they looking forward to the least?
* Make a school chart or book. Have the children write down their expectations for the year to come. What would they like to happen? What do they hope to avoid? How can they participate in achieving those wishes?


We're setting up 15 minute coaching phone calls to help you deal with last-minute issues or need-help-right-now situations. They will begin next week. Check out Coaching Phone Calls. For more information please call 646.468.0608 or email me at kiki at dailylifeconsulting dot com

Enjoy the day your way,
Rebecca "Kiki"
Daily Life Consulting

The World as A Fun Learning Lab - A Day At The Beach

Ok - this one is especially for those of you who've been emailing and asking for specifics and a recap of some of what we covered in our last workshop. You know who you are! (What happened to the materials I gave you? Ok - I'll stop with the teacher tone - old habits die hard - and get right to it! But I will make it short and sweet here. If you'd like more personalized ideas call or email or bring it up at your next session or workshop - whew - it's not you really, it's just that for a quiet July it's been kind of nutty and a couple of unexpected projects came up. All good but time-consuming and very thinking-heavy, now why am I writing all this here? I think the heat is getting to me. Now then....where was I? Really, I'm so different in September...as I know you are too - remember - just a little while longer until school starts)

TRIP PLANNER - that's all you need to remember. Here's how it goes.

*Topic - Discuss with the children where you'll be going. In this case that would be the beach.
*Research - Get them to find out as much as they can about the beach. Books, DVDs, magazines, coloring, cutting and pasting. Have them make a collage of different things they might see. Collect books, songs, movies about animals that live in the ocean, on the beach, near the beach, weather patterns that cause changes in and on the ocean, houseboats, sailboats, ships, far-off lands, imaginary ocean communities and cultures and on and on.
*Investigate - Have them investigate one or more topics that are of specific interest to them. Do they love seafood? Do they love boats? Do they love swimming? Do they love dolphins, sharks or hate jellyfish? One topic or more that they look into in further depth.
*Plan What will you and they need to make a day at the beach go smoothly? Involve them in the planning. Set a plan for the day, figure it out on the clock. Have them draw pictures of clocks and the times that everything will take place. For example - (their favorite!) Snack - 11:00 am and they draw a clock with the hands at 11:00)

*Participate as much as you can. You can always put an older child in charge of the younger ones for some of these activities. Don't knock yourself out before the trip to the beach. These are just some guidelines for ways that you might approach it so that they're as involved as possible and proactive about the trip.

*Learn Simple question(s) to ask them. What do you think you'll see or find out that you didn't know before? What do you want to find out more about?

*Action Items Again, a plan for the day. Break it down as much as you can. A little advance work makes the trip go much more smoothly. Figure in travel time, sun time, SPF needed, food time, swim time, boat time, grouchy time, down time and whatever else you might be doing.

*Navigate Chart the actual travel on a map and assign trip landmarks for the children to watch out for. It makes the ride smoother and does wonders to answer the inevitable "are we there yet???????".

*Needs Make a list, check it twice, ok three times, and have the children participate in making it. What will you need before, during and after.

*Educate (Shhhhhh - don't tell them that they'll be learning!) Figure out one or two things that you'd like them to know about the ocean. They can be simple - you can ask older children what they'd like to know about it.
Document it before - on colored paper, poster paper or in a notebook or online journal.

For older children who are able to, they can write their own blog about it, create a simple website where they'll be able to upload pictures and link to other sites of interest.

*Recap Ok - after you've rested from the trip and sometimes while you're recovering you can ask the children to recap in any way that they're able to. For the younger ones this could be a picture, picture book, cutting and pasting, collage etc. For the older ones a journal entry, blog entry, web upload etc. Plan this in advance and let them know they'll be doing this when they get home. It encourages them to pay closer attention before, during and after.

Ok - got to run now but as always,
Enjoy the day your way (and let me know how it goes!),
Rebecca "Kiki"
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Daily Life Consulting

For more information on individual or group coaching, seminars, workshops, program training and development, or programs for your group or organization please call 646.468.0608 or email me at coach at dailylifeconsulting dot com or Eva Harris at eva at shoutoutpr dot com

I Forgot How To Read!!!!!!! - Part 2

Yesterday's post generated a lot of ether-chatter "Mommy, Daddy I Forgot How To Read!!!!" Many of you wanted specific tips for how to make reading a part of daily life activities and the supermarket example was mentioned more than most, so I'll give you a couple of quick tips today that you can start with right now.

Quick Start Coaching Tips;

- You'll need.... mostly patience. The rest is kid's stuff. Also remember to modify any of these steps for your child's age, reading and patience level.

Before

1. Save food labels from cans and boxes, or have your child cut out pictures of
foods and food names from magazines.

2. Put the pictures and words in a see through shoe box or file-folder.

3. Prepare your child for a trip to the supermarket.
"We're going food shopping. I need your help organizing and reminding me what
to get." Whatever works for you and your child.

4. Take a piece of construction or white paper and have your child make their own
"shopping list" by pasting the pictures or labels of the foods you'll be
buying on to the sheet of paper.

5. Explain to them what will happen and the help you need. "I need you to help
me find the snacks, vegetables etc."

6. Ask them what they're looking for, what letters are in the words, how they
think they can match them up quickly (look for the first letter, first two
letters etc.)

7. Shop.

8. When you get home ask them to make a "shopping entry" in their journals
if they keep one, or to color a picture of what they did and bought.

Here's what happens;
* They are engaged in the process and not getting as bored and antsy.
* They're focusing on the task at hand and the products you/they need to buy
and not the millions of other yummy, enticing, fun, unnecessary food you
won't be buying that day.
* They're practicing word recognition.
* They're learning planning and organizing skills.
* They're doing an "update" while you unpack the groceries.
* They feel empowered that they are able to assist and do a "job".

Follow-Up

Feel free to reward the child in whatever way you're comfortable with for a job well done.

Ask for input as to how they think it went and if they have any ideas for how to make the process work better.

You'd be amazed at the ideas they can come up with. They see the experience in a simpler, less stressful way and have great ideas from where to park the car, to how to navigate the aisles, to which product to choose to how to arrange the bags in the car.

Have fun and enjoy!
Rebecca (Kiki)
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Daily Life Consulting
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For more information on individual or group coaching, seminars, workshops or materials for your group, school or institution please call at 646.468.0608 or email at coach at dailylifeconsulting dot com.